Granted, but the entire village believes you to be a spawn of the devil because of all your smartness and burn you at the stake.

I wish for some hot mozzerella sticks from Sonic right now.

Granted, but its too hot and as you bite one of them, the molten cheese burns off all of your taste buds so that even when it cools, you cant taste the cheesy goodness


i wish that i had 100000000 legal dollars that werent stolen.

Granted. But as you're walking across the road, you happen to drop them down a sewer hole, which just happened to be open at the time, and an alligator eats it.

I wish I had a double-neck guitar.

granted, but you end up breakin' it because ya can't figure out how to play it.

I wish I had Demyx's guitar, made to be compatible for guitar hero games.

Granted. But Demyx really wants his guitar back, drowns you in watery tones and takes his instrument back and plays Guitar Hero.

I wish I had a bigger amplifier

Granted, but it literally blows you brains out.

I wish for the Scepter of Darkness.

Granted, but the penguins steal it and use it to brainwash the public with movies like “Happy Feet”, “March of the Penguins”, and “Surf's Up”, all thanks to you. Good going, bonehead.


I wish Digimon would get cancelled so that they don't make it even more like Power Rangers with their newest season “Digimon: Data Squad”

GRANTED! nothing bad happens tho…. the world gets happy… but if you must…. you make a few kids cry.

I wish for A non-broken, nothing wrong with, not stolen, perfectly good PS3 WITH a Metal Gear solid 4 game that isn't broke, or stolen, or nothing wrong with it.

Granted, but instead of getting a PS3, you get the third PlayStationOne ever made, and instead of getting the fourth sequel, you get the fourth “Metal Gear Solid” game ever made. Neither the owner of the game or the owner of the playstation came to kill you or anything, but you ended up with things that made you want to cry.

I wish I had an GOOD editor for my original stories.

Granted. I become your editor. One of the things I do is help you with spelling. Unfortunately, as Rage can tell you, I can get really annoyin' when it comes to that. I get so bad you go andkill yourself just to get away from me.

I wish everyone had good grammer and spelling.

Granted, but everybody but you gets it and you are shunned from society.
(you spelled grammar wrong, was that intentional?)

i wish that everyone could read minds and could control it without overloading their brains.

(pretty much, yeah. I'm one of the best spellers I know, and I always correct other people's grammar. I always get on peoples nerves when I correct them for sayin' “warsh” instead of “wash”.)

Granted. But because everyone can read minds, nobody can read each other's minds, so we're back to square one.

I wish Blood Striker was a household name.

Granted. It becomes the name of a famous bandage and bandaid company. Everyone uses them to cover their cuts and bruises.

I wish I was a writer for a really good Marvel comic (Either Spiderman, Blade, Fantastic Four or Punisher)

Granted. You become a marvel comic editor, but it is for a cheap knock-off company, and your boss is a dude named Marvel.

I wish I had at least a little bit of good in me. *shoots a homeless woman and her two kids*

Granted! You help the seemingly homeless woman and her two children to the hosipital. You find out that she is the wife of an Italian mobster and they come and kill you.

Okay, whatever

I wish I was a wizard

Granted. Using your magical powers, you cure everyone in the town of all disease. Unfortunately, this includes a baby whose parents throw him out as he was so disfigured. He grows up bitter and vengeful, practicing the dark arts and brutally killing all other wizards on Earth and eventually becoming the Dark Lord, who conquers America and starts a nuclear war, causing radiation that destroys the ozone layer and therefore allowing UV rays to burn all living beings on Earth to a crisp. Nice job, faggot.

I wish to live forever.

granted, but realizing that your immortal, the military convinces you to join the army where you fight and eventually are captured and tortured in the most grueling ways for years until it eventually shatters your mind and body leaving you broken alone and insane…. but at least youre still alive!

I wish that i could see like an eagle.

Granted. You can see like the eagle whose head I have mounted on my wall. Like the furnishings? I hope so. They're the only thing you'll see for the rest of existence.

I wish I had $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Congratulations, you get it in Monopoly money.

I wish winter break would last longer.

Granted. Due to state laws about the number of school hours, spring break is eliminated, and summer break is shortened to one day.

I wish I had fluffy socks.

You have fluffy socks made from the hide of innocent rabbits. You are arrested for associating with a poacher.

I wish that every woman on Earth wanted sex with me.

Granted. But after a while it starts to hurt… down there.

No Wish…

YOU DIE

I wish I was Super Special Awesome!

Granted, you think youre super special awesome but youre really just retarded.

I wish that i wasnt lazy.

Granted, you start doing charity work around the world until you are so tired you collapse and the hungry children you were trying to feed were actually cannibals (lucky you).

I wish that I wouldn't be so nervous when it came to giving a speech or presenting a project in front of a ton of people — all of them being from my community and going to my school.

Granted, you are so confident, so your attitude becomes more egoistic and you become a very unpopular when it comes to speeches and such.

I wish to be a bird.

Granted but you're hen. the first part of your life is growing from an egg then you lay eggs until you're turned into a Tyson chicken patty that I eat.

I wish people would understand me and my motives better.

granted, but you are so understanded you become too predictable.

I wish I had a warpony.