Page 16 A sense of injustice
skyangel on April 20, 2024
I don't want to dwell on the domestic violence too much so I've limited it to just few ‘highlights’ that have always stood out in my mind to illustrate how distanced I was from positive male role models. At that age I was scared of most adult men and drawn towards kind and caring female adults of which there were many.
Comparing this page to the previous page I share here a quote from Robert A Johnson, a Jungian analyst who in reflecting upon the male/female divide within us all, wrote:
'Man has only two alternatives for relationship to his inner woman: either he rejects her and she turns against him in the form of bad moods and undermining seductions, or he accepts her and finds within a companion who walks through life with him giving him warmth and strength.'
Next week: we jump a few years and take a peek at how the desire to be more feminine is starting to grow!
Genejoke at 11:48AM, April 28, 2024
so much I could say here, but I'll leave it "good stuff"
tommym at 7:03AM, April 27, 2024
DEar Sky very painful to see this abuse tommym
skyangel at 1:39PM, April 27, 2024
Tommym: I'm keeping this stuff to a minimum as my dad wasn't a total monster but I wanted to share highlights as I feel this partly shaped my future.
Ironscarf at 4:44PM, April 23, 2024
This reminded me that my daughter would sometimes draw figures on the walls, usually in protest about not being able to stay up later. Thankfully we found it funny and I viewed her as a budding Banksy. I can only imagine the pressures of living with such a volatile character. The choice to leave out the borders on panels two and three emphasises the sense of danger and unpredictability well.
skyangel at 1:14PM, April 24, 2024
Ironscarf: That's good parenting! XD I never had that Banksy style urge to draw on walls. Even then I liked to draw things in detail and felt much more comfortable leaning over a drawing book than drawing on a vertical surface.... As for the borders, I think you do that a lot too from memory. It's strange how confining a border can seem especially in open air shots!
edniz at 5:45AM, April 23, 2024
Fun to see the Robert A Johnson quote!
skyangel at 11:32AM, April 23, 2024
And you led me to it! XD
ohanyname at 7:45PM, April 22, 2024
Spirograph (I still have one of them!) Mouse??? and Matchbox Super???
skyangel at 12:47AM, April 23, 2024
Yes indeed and I still have mine too! :), Mousetrap - which always fascinated me for it's ingenuity, and Matchbox Superfast which we get a better reminder of in a couple of pages time.
DarkVisor at 12:49AM, April 22, 2024
Wait wait hold the spoon! Nik's brother isn't _that_ much taller than him, so that lie about having to kneel was just extra added bullshittery
skyangel at 1:13AM, April 22, 2024
DV: Yea,totally! The lie made no sense at all but my father was out for blood and somehow just accepted it as reasonable evidence.
DarkVisor at 12:46AM, April 22, 2024
Wow, Nik's brother was a bit of an arsehole, wasn't he? He deliberately drew that likeness of his father at a height that would implicate Nik, and then lied about it knowing that his father would believe the lie and beat Nik harder
skyangel at 1:32AM, April 22, 2024
DV: My brother was the first born and even at that age I was aware of the pressure dad put on him. Every evening Dad would test him on his Times Tables at bed time and smack him (hand on bum) if he got one wrong, yet I was only ever tested a few times. That's something I remember very clearly and why I was so afraid of maths all through school but there were probably other things too and I think this was probably my brothers way of getting back at me for escaping all that.
UnderTheBlackHat at 9:34AM, April 20, 2024
Right, there's been a bit of debate here, some of us don't believe it was 'child abuse' so much as the fact that Father was A) Disbelieving of the innocent child, B) Punished the child for an offense not committed C) Unable to see which of his children weren't being genuine. Two of our crew have experience with similar situations. IF you are a child and you did wrong, you get punished. We can, later in life, accept that punishment as purchased with our wrongdoing. The major thing we take from this is not that Nick was punished... But that the beating (which did not equate well with the crime of drawing on a wall) was administered because they were not believed. This loss of trust in a parent (or worse, sibling as well)as shown on this page, is a horrible thing to a child. Add to this the brutish nature of the father and of course Nick, being a gentle, creative and kind soul (our take, yours may vary), feels put upon from all sides and this is so horrid for a child to live with.
DarkVisor at 1:12AM, April 22, 2024
Agrecian with you: discipline (even unjustified) is not abuse. Both kids knew that actions had consequences, which is why the brother framed Nik. The father may have been looking for an excuse to punish Nik but he hasn't come across as being abusive so far. Back in those days, you did something wrong, you got the belt (or the hairbrush, and rolling over on the sharp bristles immediately after was worse, and mum hugged me) and _usually_ that was the end of the matter. Of course not saying there _weren't_ abusive arseholes (both genders), just that this doesn't look like the case here
skyangel at 1:48PM, April 20, 2024
That sounds exciting!XD I can agree with all of this because if I had been guilty it would have felt justified despite the severity of the punishment plus my dad had only just wallpapered the day before so his anger was understandable BUT that feeling of injustice for being severely punished for something I didn't do and the lie itself which never made any sense made it feel all the worse. I wanted to get this page over in six panels but what also bothered me at the time was that neither me or my brother had ever drawn on the wall previously to this which left me questioning why he had done it at all. As always, thanks for this very in depth comment and to all those who took part in the debate!
Roberto Fabris at 7:24AM, April 20, 2024
Child abuse is really hideous.
skyangel at 1:37PM, April 20, 2024
This was a nice surprise! I didn't realise you had your comic here too! :)
Othosmops at 6:16AM, April 20, 2024
Sibling cohesion and trust seem to be less important to the lying brother than his stroke count arithmetic. This is, by the way, a rather alarming signal, not only with regard to you!
skyangel at 1:52PM, April 20, 2024
That's a very good point! I did get on with my brother most of the time but years later he confessed to me that he always felt I got off lighter than him just because I was younger. I think this act was actually deliberate to be able to feel a sense of justice of his own but he probably didn't imagine how severely my dad would react.