I am being evicted.
I found out the people evicting me gone behind my back and manage to hid the mail from me, got the eviction finalized and soon I will kicked out of where I have been “living” since December, and before that staying at expensive hotels because mom could only use G-pay.
So the story so far, waaaay back in 2023, I think after November and there was a news story about being homeless that starred mom and my cat that we got a gofundme that went over 10 grand, we preceded to burn that up on hotels because mom's bank wouldn't send her a new card and the only way was to pull out money was G-pay.
I tried to cash 3 thousand dollars from her bank but found out no one would touch it with a thirty foot pole, eventually she got her reporter friend to get her a real bank account.
We wound up at ESA out in the sticks, the industrial area of Fort Lauderdale/Pompano right near out storage, and let me tell you it is very impossible to get around here.
For the longest time I had been barely scraping by on commissions to keep the storage unit up, and because mom bought so much stuff while staying here and needed a bigger unit for when we do get removed officially, sorry, after our unit was broken into.
Oh yeah, the storage unit was broken into and lost my old computer, and when I wanted to file for insurance I couldn't produce receipts or photographs to prove we owned the stuff but couldn't because at the time I was too busy trying to panic find a job to pay the over 1000 dollar a week rent, which eventually the money was burnt up.
We had been harassed since we got here, had our keys turned off while paying, was denied things other tenants got, was skipped over for fumigations, had illegal evictions sprung on us and had a cop called on us for false reasons.
I'm only here because it is better than being homeless, and right now I heard the government made being homeless highly illegal.

I am so scared, I have a cat to take care of, and I don't know how to rehome her because she's very attached to me. And I don't want her to suffer on the street with me again. I am extremely upset because I know I couldn't take care of a cat but mom insist I take her, because “she your cat”.

I'm jumping all over the place because this is horrible, and to make it worse it is my birthday soon, and after missing out on my 40th last year (which I heard was suppose to be this BLOWOUT by mom with a trip to a place of my choosing and all this other stuff) this year I will miss Free comic book day, AGAIN, because of all the stupid stuff happening, AGAIN.

I am sitting here listening to her talking to herself about how her man hadn't contacted her since yesterday, about how that's more important right now. I hadn't met ANYONE, I can't met anyone, I am stuck in the middle of a industrial hell and no means of getting around, and it got to me

I don't know, I have hit a point where I don't care about myself any more, I don't watch tv, I don't play games, I don't enjoy music and the only thing keeping me going is working on my comic.

What's really got to me is I thought I was going to get a fair trail, I was told I was going to get a fair trail because it takes a long time to evict somebody so I foolishly bought a new scanner/printer instead of something portable and art supplies.

I'm kicking myself for such a stupid decision.

So, so tired right now and really need a huge break from all of this but I can't. And to make matters way worse is I am facing my problems, head on, I had been filing, and filing against the eviction but I am not “gaining” ground like so many anti-escapists says would happen.

Also hearing over and over about from mom about how her boyfriend hadn't responded and hearing about him being mad or did she get dumped while I am panicking over being kicked out!

I am at a lose, I am so tired and just want to go home.

I hate Florida right now.

Dude! I read it. Nobody responded because I think everyone is maybe thinking the similar thing….

Your mom is the problem.


I don't mind being the one to say this. I'm lurking here. My life is also fucked up.


Leave.



You need to leave.




Do that.

I agree with Lothar.

I'm speechless. Get a bus ticket, collect what you can absolutely not live without and leave.
Do a go fund me, getaway. Totally cut all ties with your mother. Period. She's using you. She does not need you and you don't have to heed her guilt trips. There is no reason to stay because if you do you'll only destroy yourself.

I've said this before and nothing has really changed and you are stuck in this cycle. If you don't get out now it'll never end.

I almost never write about these things, but I'll agree with everyone else. Cut your losses now. Get your cat and whatever you can carry that you absolutely need and go. Take two days once you've left to just calm down and rationally, as calmly as possible, consider your next steps. I have no idea what your general circumstances are but I've this impression that if it's just you and your cat things will suddenly immediately get more manageable.

Try it. What have you got to lose?

Thanks.
I often hear the best advice is to leave, and I stay because I feel like I am responsible for her and I have stay to help out.
I feel bad for posting these because I wonder if I'm the one in the wrong, you know the spoiled child complaining about their parents.
But I need to vent some times and it gets frustrating because yesterday I swore I was having a stroke, my arm was numb, I couldn't form word correctly, my head of throbbing and tingling, and my lips were tingling too. Brought this up a few times, all I got was snapped at, acted like I wasn't important, TOLD SHE was close to having a stroke, harped on I can't remember any more and kept going on and on about about something I can't remember because I was both scared of having a stroke and dealing with very serious suicidial thoughts.
Oh and that's something I can never, EVER, say to her is I'm having those thoughts because her reaction is to lock people away.

I'm mad because I got to leave the room, which is a high risk of losing EVERYTHING, because she says she can't afford to take time off of work, and deliver more paperwork that might only piss off the judge of the eviction instead of helping because she read it online.

Kind of funny, I've been doing the eviction stuff by myself because when this all went down because she was fighting with her co-workers, who sound like pieces of shit but still, I was left to twist because I also couldn't get a real lawyer on the case because legal aid is bull crap in Florida, and she actually threaten to sue her bosses after taking a week off and got a transfer, and now is complaining she only made 500 dollars.

I'm sorry to vent and repeat myself so much but this morning she told me she's worried I wouldn't be able to take care of myself when she dies, ignoring all of the past experiences showed otherwise and all of these problems are her fault!

I angry because I am using her computer, and worried if I leave she will have a hissy fit and demand it back leaving me nothing to do work with, and that's because my old computer died, it only needed a new power supply but she demanded “food” instead, instead of disgusting but free food from the soup line and waiting a little bit so I can work on my art and hopefully gain an audience to get commissions it went to buying a thing of cakes, tuna (the expensive kind) and I don't remember.

Hopping around because it is making me mad and I got to get it out, she doesn't do dishes, and when she does touch them she complains about me “not doing them right”, constantly telling me about giving up her life if we lose ignoring I don't have a life because I am sitting in this room, and before that I was watching our stuff plus the cat in the public, being told no pepperonis are allowed my home made pizza but she demands meat on EVERYTHING! Every dinner must contain meat, we can't afford it, I can pull of some foods to extend what we got if she just give it a try instead of turning her nose up at it, I wanted to make mac and pork once but that was “a no go”, plus her obsession with home made things, she bought a grinder to make homemade sausage, homemade chicken nuggets, homemade pizza, mainly because she says it taste better and is cheaper but it takes a lot out of me and honestly at times it feels more expensive in a lot of cases.

I will change my tune later when I calm down but I am royally pissed off, and I will add something else that scares me.

I don't want to live on the street with my cat because it wouldn't be fair for her, it was awful, taking the bus was terrible because she has a stroller and people get angry taking up space for wheelchairs and walkers, plus you become a huge target for assholes, needing to time feeding and finding safe places for her to use the litterbox, cleaning up said litter, the fact you are bared from a lot of places with a cat even if you tell them she's a service animal (something my mom pushed hard), even the shelter will kick you out. I am afraid she is unable to be rehomed, I don't want her put down (I feel sick typing that), she's such a good kitty.

Along with that I actually have bought into the belief eviction took months to fight, I took some money earned through art and figured on buying myself something special and didn't have for three years, a scanner. And now it will be put in storage and might never be used again, I feel so stupid for not saving my money.. But it would had gone to helping out mom because I feel guilty and think I am being responsible.

Now I'm going to head out, give over some late ditch effort to stay eviction for a short while and try to enjoy one more night on a bed before having to fall apart.

[EDIT: My last play got denied, tried one more but I don't think it will work. I'm trying to find a lawyer but exactly like before no one wants to help out.

I'm so tired right now and honestly the only thing keeping me going is working on my comic, silly I know but it's all I got.]

So the writ of possession is heading to the Sherriff's office which means I got to leave eventually after they serve it, so I am going to enjoy sleeping in a bed for a bit before going back to the airport to try again just thought I share some weird thoughts here and what I learned since last post.

One thing I had learned is all of my responses, my posts and pleas to the court was actually being ignored because of a few things like being given a case number that can't work within their system, I wondering what was going on because I kept getting the message about how I had to fix this and that and seemed like it was excepted but didn't.

I want to dwell on that experience but I want to talk about another thing, I can compress it down to Florida feels like its own country with its own laws that ignores the rest of the country and feels royally corrupt too.

Anyway, that out of the way, I just feeling… Not scared, not relieved because I will be homeless, AGAIN, but this time I feel more prepared this time and learned a lot of things. I'm not even tired. I am feeling something, like this is a big push forward.

Mainly because this time I am switching over to using an android tablet to make artwork, it won't have weighted lines but it is a small price to pay to leave the laptop in storage and prevent that from being stolen in the night, which happened to my phones many, many times.

Right now I'm listening to an essay about Welcome to NHK and it is talking about being hikikomori that is hitting all of the the feelings I am going through for the last six months. The isolation, the loneliness and the feeling of developing my own echo chamber in my own mind. This came about over the last six months of being isolated in the industrial area of Fort Lauderdale mainly because that's where mom could find a steady place to stay, and after the money ran out I kind of stayed in the room to keep from a lock out. I did go out but only to the Wal Mart down the street, and once in a while take the train to a different Walmart (which was horrible because of how cumbersome it was going from a train to two different buses) it was mind breaking due to how stressful and dull it was from dodging heavy traffic crossing the street to how expensive it was.

I had this thing I was going to talk about learning to stay away from soup kitchens and shelters because of how much of a time sink they are, and how they drain so much mental energy because it feels like a soviet line for tp when I thought about how I am mad lately because I feel like I am running on empty creatively because I have up on any kind of entertainment, kind of scary how always being ON does that to you.

I got a lot of things to talk about but I really can't and don't want too, I am very upset because I missed free comic book day due to everyone playing games, and the fact mom wanted to have me get a home loan with no money or job and talked about sharing a place for years because that was her Hail Mary just pushed me over the edge.

I have a lot of things I really wanted to vent about but right now I am just, mentally shut down and hoping to move forward after this.

One thing I do worry about is having to rehome my cat, she's very attached to me and I feel so sick thinking of putting myself first but I don't know what to do if things get any worse.

Well, on that note I hope people don't mind a change in art style in my comics for a while as I work from my phone/android tablet, I'm trying but I am also don't want my stuff stolen… Again..