Youtube Video: Ashen's Tech Dump- God's Source Code

Okay… now that you know what inspired this thead…

How would you change the Universe?

The guy in the Universe had a good idea… give all men breasts so we'll be on equal “footing” with the women. However, I could do without the “booty” parties… I could also probably erase all hats from existence, but I'm sure there are people out there who would want me dead if I did that…

I wouldn't do anything and I'd sure as hell get rid of any documented coding so politicians couldn't get hold of it!!

I'd give myself the ability to grow an actual moustache.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Just moustaches.

OnlyFoolsAndVikings
I'd give myself the ability to grow an actual moustache.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Just moustaches.

That's a highly overrated ability…..just sayin'….

MadTarnsman
I wouldn't do anything and I'd sure as hell get rid of any documented coding so politicians couldn't get hold of it!!

*an evil politician has captured MadTarnsman*

MadTarnsman: “You won't get any information from me! I destroyed all the documentation!”
Evil Politician: “Oh, don't worry… there's still one copy left, and you have it!”
MadTarnsman: “Eh? But…”
Evil Politician: “Minion! Go get the neuron reader! Don't worry, MadTarsnman. Though your brain will be turned into mush after we're done reading it, the process will be quick and we'll have what we want from you.”
MadTarsnman: “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

And the ability to grow mustdache is overrated. Take it from us men. Sometimes we wish we didn't have the ability to grow mustdaches and beards.

S'all good, I know you'd feel threated if I did develop the ability to grow facial hair, understood.

I would… make sure of that any videogames won't have any glitch or bugs!

If somebody would ever figure out the means to control everything, we'd never know about it. I'd give anyone about 0.2 seconds before realizing what he has in his hands and have the idea of becoming the new god go straight to his head. He'd never share this to anyone, but rather shape the world around him based on his desires while the rest of us remain completely oblivious about it.

wow ! that video realy sucked !!

but it is a cool idea , there prolly is some master control switch to the whole thing , how else did all the stuff get set the way it is . it would be disapointing if we found out that there are many universes and that this universe realy was created bya guy called god who makes up arbitrary rules and sends people to another universe he created called hell, i still wouldnt kiss ass to him though

Considering that Richard Dawkins was a great friend of Douglas Adams I'd share the code with him, other rabid atheists and secular humanists and we'd fix the universe.

And everyone would talk like they work on the BBC. Amazing how an English accent can make things like Boo-tee Call sound classy.

When we were done we'd leave the immense burning words of the Last Message of God to Creation: Sorry for the inconvienence.

OnlyFoolsAndVikings
S'all good, I know you'd feel threated if I did develop the ability to grow facial hair, understood.

I really am curious to hear why, aside from the silly factor, a 17 year old girl would want facial hair. Really, I'm legitimately curious. :)

I'd see to it that DD would be finished - code and all. And that forever more it wouldn't crash. *sigh*

Unfortunately I'd probably have more fun messing with the annotations or comment tags.

For instance Segway: //Whoever wrote this into the code has a sense of humor.

Serious answer: I think I'd study the code for a bit just to figure out the actual physical laws of the universe and maybe check the history cache to see what actually happened in the past. ;D

Somewhat less serious answer: I'd also delete the lines which give reality to ticks and cancer, possibly in that order.

Lonnehart

MadTarnsman
I wouldn't do anything and I'd sure as hell get rid of any documented coding so politicians couldn't get hold of it!!

*an evil politician has captured MadTarnsman*

MadTarnsman: “You won't get any information from me! I destroyed all the documentation!”
Evil Politician: “Oh, don't worry… there's still one copy left, and you have it!”
MadTarnsman: “Eh? But…”
Evil Politician: “Minion! Go get the neuron reader! Don't worry, MadTarsnman. Though your brain will be turned into mush after we're done reading it, the process will be quick and we'll have what we want from you.”
MadTarsnman: “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

HA!! The joke's on them…..my skull is already a bowl of mush!!!!

I'd delete a lot of people. A whole lot of people.

Hey don't look at me like that, God does it too. He just calls it Rapture.

NickyP

OnlyFoolsAndVikings
S'all good, I know you'd feel threated if I did develop the ability to grow facial hair, understood.

I really am curious to hear why, aside from the silly factor, a 17 year old girl would want facial hair. Really, I'm legitimately curious. :)

Because I could then have an excuse to wear a top hat. I actually don't know why, I suppose I'm just strange like that. :D

The “source code” of the universe is literally what they're trying to find with the big bang experiments and stuff like the LHC- trying to replicate the conditions present at the beginning of everything. The closer you get to that, the closer you are to the “source code”.

And it is just the source, remember that. In order to work up from there to find out about life, the universe and everything in its totality will take you several billion years.
…I just don't have that much spare time. T_T

——
OFAV- fake facial hair is so much less bother. Curling a real moustache is tricky, and as for soups and milky drinks… ugh D}:

I would fight off armies just to keep it away from Bill Gates. Can you imagine even eating your breakfast and suddenly “Cereal has performed an illegal operation #53lngsp3nt3ql and is forced to reboot
Send Error Report Don't


*shudders* And then all the patch updates ”I'm sorry you can't go to sleep till Windows Universe has finished updating“ ”BUT IT“S 2 IN THE MORNING!!!”

Actually come to think of it… Steve Jobs would probably be just as bad. You couldn't share anything due to copyright infringement and only a sparse few would be able to enjoy life by paying more money :P

That's assuming Bill Gates or Steve Jobs even figured out you have it. As Product Placement said… The moment you know what you have in your hands (or on your computer) you're not going to tell anyone, and you'd change the universe without anyone knowing. I'm pretty sure that the only way those two could get their hands on it is if a true bonified idiot stumbled onto the code…. after all… it would take them much MUCH longer to figure out what they have in their hands, and would probably delete it (or throw it in the trash if they printed it) before that happened.

Macattack
Actually come to think of it… Steve Jobs would probably be just as bad. You couldn't share anything due to copyright infringement and only a sparse few would be able to enjoy life by paying more money :P

Oh no, that wouldn't be the issue at all ;)
In a Jobsian world the problem would be limited choice.
- You could be white, or black, and you could only come in two sizes.
-There would be an enforced retirement program; everyone over a certain age would be routinely mass killed off to make way for the new models.
- All innovation and advances in the world would have to wait on his personal say-so and approval before they went ahead, and if they conflicted with his own plans then they would never happen.
- All mistakes, issues, problems or disasters would be flatly denied and ignored until it got so bad that they needed to be addressed, then they'd be fixed in secret or removed in the next generational mass-killing and forgotten from history. There will also be a cult of people who will help to quash any rumours about these issues.
- Everything you buy will be “rights protected” and you won't be able to customise it of move it to a different room in your house etc. If you want to do that then you have to by another copy of it.
- If you choose to show dissatisfaction for whatever reason then a cult of devoted followers will find you and attempt to forcibly convert you. Failing that you will be stoned to death.

I could go on.

————–
In a Bill Gates world everything will seem to work fine and look good, with lots of choice and hardly any restrictions… But as soon as you try to do something clever reality will collapse and the universe will explode.

@Lonnehart: You mean Bill Gates DOESN"T have spies hidden everywhere? What's the point of having that much money and ruling majority of the computer market if you can't take advantage of it? :P

@OZ True… but you have to admit. In a Jobian society the less complicated tasks would be really user friendly.

Actually I think if anything someone should give it to staples business depot. I want my life to have an easy button!

ozoneocean
Oh no, that wouldn't be the issue at all ;)
In a Jobsian world the problem would be limited choice.
- You could be white, or black, and you could only come in two sizes.
-There would be an enforced retirement program; everyone over a certain age would be routinely mass killed off to make way for the new models.
- All innovation and advances in the world would have to wait on his personal say-so and approval before they went ahead, and if they conflicted with his own plans then they would never happen.
- All mistakes, issues, problems or disasters would be flatly denied and ignored until it got so bad that they needed to be addressed, then they'd be fixed in secret or removed in the next generational mass-killing and forgotten from history. There will also be a cult of people who will help to quash any rumours about these issues.
- Everything you buy will be “rights protected” and you won't be able to customise it of move it to a different room in your house etc. If you want to do that then you have to by another copy of it.
- If you choose to show dissatisfaction for whatever reason then a cult of devoted followers will find you and attempt to forcibly convert you. Failing that you will be stoned to death.

I could go on.

What the… so he'd just reprogram the entire Universe to resemble the world of Nineteen Eighty-Four??? O_O

mlai
I'd delete a lot of people. A whole lot of people.

Hey don't look at me like that, God does it too. He just calls it Rapture.

The Rapture isn't really deleting people; it's more like transferring them to another hard drive.

Macattack
@OZ True… but you have to admit. In a Jobian society the less complicated tasks would be really user friendly.

One may think so, but I literally take about 20 minutes to do something in the iOS when any other would take me about 5 minutes. Maybe even less in unix. User friendly? That's a good one…

I would start with giving the entire world HD graphics.
After that I would give myself and everyone I like the power to mute, kick and ban other players. And then I would make:
CURE FOR CANCER = ORANGE JUICE

Honestly, I'll just delete the line with wasps in it.

I'd make everyone a duck.

Ducks would rule the earth.