Clothing malfuctions or just some really bad accidents… ever had those moments?

I remember when I was in the fifth grade. Our teacher had us sitting on the ground crosslegged and stuff. However, when I did that my pants tore in half. Thanks to my family being too poor to buy underwear at the time I was truly horribly exposed… and had to sit there for a half hour with my hands trying to cover me up…

And then there was that one time when, during Army Basic Training we had to do jumping jacks. My pants went down and dragged certain other clothing with it…

and I'll just stop with that… T_T

What. The. Fuck.




No seriously though,
Yeah. Sometimes, I guess.

I fall on a regular basis, so people usually see me in a state of perpetual motion. In a painful way.

My clothing is already crappy and outdated, so if it ever tore it'd be a step up.

I'm too much a ghost for anyone to care though.

Had a close incident once when I was around 9.
Was riding the centrifuge chamber at Great Adventure. Tore a right embarrassing spot on my jogging pants from the sheer force of being glued to a wall like that. Fortunately, no one noticed.

alwinbot
What. The. Fuck.

yeah… my family was poor at the time… My mother actually made my clothes for me. However, the quality of the thread and materials was… ugh…

Thankfully that all stopped when I got into middle school and my father got a pay raise. :)

alwinbot
What. The…

left of field topic. Yep.

This sounds like a great excuse to get away with flashing…
As it was for Janet Jackson ;)
"oh, I always wear nipple pasties…"

Back in high school, I really enjoyed wearing long, breezy dresses. My favourite one was very long, ivory, and lacy. I'd wear a slip underneath it. Even though it was long, it didn't take much of a breeze to flip the skirt and it could be kind of sheer on a sunny day. After gym exercise one day, I was chatting with my friend and getting my corset back on and I didn't notice a girl who didn't like me much. She shut the slip and some of the underskirting inside of low locker near my hem. When I walked away, the slip and the linings tore off. You could see right through the skirt. I had to wear my bright blue gym pants underneath and I was so embarrassed.

In sixth grade or so I was in swimming lessons and it was the last class so we were playing a game where we would line up along the side of the pool and jump, and an instructor would yell “cannonball!” or “pencil jump!” etc.
The instructor decided to have us to a “Wendy jump”…a crazy one named after a deck supervisor who got pushed into the pool once. Of course I was wearing a two piece bathing suit and the top flipped right up when I jumped in. And I was next to the boy I had a crush on at the time.

I don't have clothing malfunctions.
I don't wear clothes.

Kroatz
I don't have clothing malfunctions.
I don't wear clothes.

Kroatz invented going commando.

I once got hot hydraulic fluid all over my pants while working on a log splitter one winter. That stuff burns and then starts itching after a while.

lba
I once got hot hydraulic fluid all over my pants while working on a log splitter one winter. That stuff burns and then starts itching after a while.

Gonorrhoea grease?

Hippie Van
the top flipped right up when I jumped in. And I was next to the boy I had a crush on at the time.

Fastest way to move from Crush to Dating ^^
Should've taken advantage of the moment. ;)

i don't remember ever having clothing malfunctions, i remember my brother having one though… :nervous:

ozoneocean

lba
I once got hot hydraulic fluid all over my pants while working on a log splitter one winter. That stuff burns and then starts itching after a while.

Gonorrhoea grease?

Hippie Van
the top flipped right up when I jumped in. And I was next to the boy I had a crush on at the time.

Fastest way to move from Crush to Dating ^^
Should've taken advantage of the moment. ;)

haha! honest advertising.

I wasn't exactly exposed, but back when I was a chubby, and very hated individual, I had to wear extremely tight/short shorts in gym class, which it was a day where we played a game with the girls too, and it was Soccer.

I had to play soccer in short shorts.

The hottest girl in the school was in that class.

I nearly died of embarrassment.

My clothes never malfunctioned thankfully, but i have witnessed some:

Best friend decided to go one of those really tall slides at water world, i waited at the bottom since i was a big ole chicken. Her top flew off halfway down, lol she was so embarrassed while the guy working there scrambled to get her top back to her.

During this orientation thing in high school the cheerleaders were notorious for sucking at their routine. That year they got great and had an amazing routine, but there was one girl who kicked her legs up a bit too high and exposed her blue panties(they were worn over panties, but still looked just like them) to the crowd over and over. She was known as ‘that panty flash chick’ after that, never bothered her though.

I had a friend in college who spent some time in Germany, and he always went on about how nudity was so much more acceptable there than here in America, and he swore by all of God's grace that sleeping naked was the way to go. His roomie vouched for the fact that in the year that they roomed together, that man never put on underwear once. He didn't even own any. He had to borrow some to take his physicals when he went to join the army.

So one day, I just get out of the shower and I'm getting ready for bed and I think, “Why not give it a shot?” And so I discarded the towel and climbed into bed. Not even a minute later, the doorbell rings (I was staying at my parent's house) and I hear a familiar voice in the living room. It was a female friend of mine (not one you'd sleep with, mind you. She was certifiably weird to the point of being wholly unattractive) and I realized something. I asked her to return a DVD she had borrowed, and it was now 10:30PM two months after I had asked.

Well, I could tell from the volume and clarity of her voice she had just cleared the living room (escorted by my folks) and was about to enter the hall, which gave me about ten seconds until they reached my bedroom, and the door was open. Well, let me say this. It IS possible to get fully dressed in ten seconds. Mine wasn't an actual malfunction or even an exposure, but it was damn close.

I would call this being exposed…

true recent malfunction:
Nothing is so disturbing for a guy to walk up to a urinal, unzip and realize you have your boxers on backwards.
I stood there for 1 minute looking for the opening in my boxers until I finally realized.

then to add insult to injury:
Imagine tall fat guy in a tiny stall trying to take pants off to take boxers off and then put them on right.

TheMidge28
Imagine tall fat guy in a tiny stall trying to take pants off to take boxers off and then put them on right.

Heh, weird

TheMidge28
I stood there for 1 minute looking for the opening in my boxers

Weirder! o_O

I'll never understand that American thing about openings in underwear… It's like crotchless knickers for women. Big cultural difference.

ozoneocean
I'll never understand that American thing about openings in underwear… It's like crotchless knickers for women. Big cultural difference.

Yeah, just yank the buggers down. Openings are for weirdies!


But about my embarrassing exposing moments, I guess I would have a lot but I don't get embarrassed really. At school I lost my medium sized P.E. shorts so I had to “borrow” a pair I found on the change room floor (they weren't soiled or anything) and that pair happens to be small. Quite exposing, but I occasionally use them to my comedic advantage by pullin' the 'ole spread legs on unsuspecting victims. Heh heh, gets them every time. And when I say “get them” I mean “get them to look away in disgust and gag at my incredibly pale hairy upper thighs”. In fact once, on the bus home (I live kinda far from my school so there were only two other people on the bus at the time) I trapped this girl from moving from the back seat because of my incredibly short shorts when I assumed the spread legs pose. Ha ha ha she kept her eyes closed the whole 45 minutes home.

ozoneocean
I'll never understand that American thing about openings in underwear… It's like crotchless knickers for women. Big cultural difference.

Maybe they're just too lazy to pull the whole thing down, and I guess it makes “draining the DRAGON” behind a tree a little safer…

just speculating here since I don't understand why our underwear has to have holes in it…

This probably doesn't count, but in the third grade I farted during storytime. It was a really loud one that almost lifted me off the floor. One of the kids yelled “Home run!”

And that is how things were.

ParkerFarker

ozoneocean
I'll never understand that American thing about openings in underwear… It's like crotchless knickers for women. Big cultural difference.

Yeah, just yank the buggers down. Openings are for weirdies!


But about my embarrassing exposing moments, I guess I would have a lot but I don't get embarrassed really. At school I lost my medium sized P.E. shorts so I had to “borrow” a pair I found on the change room floor (they weren't soiled or anything) and that pair happens to be small. Quite exposing, but I occasionally use them to my comedic advantage by pullin' the 'ole spread legs on unsuspecting victims. Heh heh, gets them every time. And when I say “get them” I mean “get them to look away in disgust and gag at my incredibly pale hairy upper thighs”. In fact once, on the bus home (I live kinda far from my school so there were only two other people on the bus at the time) I trapped this girl from moving from the back seat because of my incredibly short shorts when I assumed the spread legs pose. Ha ha ha she kept her eyes closed the whole 45 minutes home.

Parker's getting the ladies. And this is his pickup line.



ladies…

Hippie Van
In sixth grade or so I was in swimming lessons and it was the last class so we were playing a game where we would line up along the side of the pool and jump, and an instructor would yell “cannonball!” or “pencil jump!” etc.
The instructor decided to have us to a “Wendy jump”…a crazy one named after a deck supervisor who got pushed into the pool once. Of course I was wearing a two piece bathing suit and the top flipped right up when I jumped in. And I was next to the boy I had a crush on at the time.

As far back as I can remember, the schools around here require girls to wear one piece suits for the swim portion of gym and the swim teams.

I used to have a pair of jeans with a fly that would go down every tine i put my hands in my pockets.

In or around Grade 5, our class made a trip to a local water park.

Long story short, I lost my shorts and the bus left without me. I spent the day at a waterpark naked. In retrospect if I'd have been less embarrassed about it, it would have been a fun day.

JabberwockyJones
In or around Grade 5, our class made a trip to a local water park.

Long story short, I lost my shorts and the bus left without me. I spent the day at a waterpark naked. In retrospect if I'd have been less embarrassed about it, it would have been a fun day.

They just left you? And you got be naked? Lucky…

There's nothing really traumatic that I can remember involving losing clothing in any way. Yesterday I wore a really low cut top to school when we went to a play and my bra kept peeking out, but no one really cared since there are no males under the age of 30 and they're all married anyway. Plus, I don't possess the ability to form cleavage, so over all it was a disappointing show for all onlookers.

I always have dreams about being naked in public places, though. It happens so often, I kinda just roll with it now. Hello, dream world.

GracehFaceh
There's nothing really traumatic that I can remember involving losing clothing in any way. Yesterday I wore a really low cut top to school when we went to a play and my bra kept peeking out, but no one really cared since there are no males under the age of 30 and they're all married anyway. Plus, I don't possess the ability to form cleavage, so over all it was a disappointing show for all onlookers.

I always have dreams about being naked in public places, though. It happens so often, I kinda just roll with it now. Hello, dream world.

Don't feel too sad. The ability to form cleavage is a rare trait not many have.

There one very vivid memory I have.

It was when I was on the swim team and we were practicing turning in the water from a dive to go into a backstroke. During practice, we'd put on as much ‘drag’ on ourselves so when we wore the crushingly tight suits during the meets, we'd go much faster. Well, my drag was fairly heavy this one day and when I dove in, the force of the impact in the water drove my suit down. I didn't quite notice when I turned over and looked down and saw that I was flashing everyone my junk.

Quite honestly, I wasn't bothered. I just casually pulled my suit back up and continued swimming. It wasn't an, ‘OMG SO EMBARRASSING I COULD JUST DIE’ situation as it was more, ‘Haww haww, I totally flashed the entire swim team, awesome’.

I didn't know if everyone saw because when I got out and back in line, nobody said anything. So it was either they DIDN'T see it, or they were trying to save my dignity by not mentioning it.

Good times.

Randal

Hippie Van
In sixth grade or so I was in swimming lessons and it was the last class so we were playing a game where we would line up along the side of the pool and jump, and an instructor would yell “cannonball!” or “pencil jump!” etc.
The instructor decided to have us to a “Wendy jump”…a crazy one named after a deck supervisor who got pushed into the pool once. Of course I was wearing a two piece bathing suit and the top flipped right up when I jumped in. And I was next to the boy I had a crush on at the time.

As far back as I can remember, the schools around here require girls to wear one piece suits for the swim portion of gym and the swim teams.

No it wasn't a school thing, I was just in sixth grade at the time. My schools have all been way too poor to have a pool.