Introduction2: The First Page
Metruis on Nov. 20, 2008
Well, it's all there on the page. =P I would like to know WHAT YOU FEEL makes a good beginning. I will be presenting the work in progress prologue script for critique after the introduction to what I feel I ought to cover about my opinion on this stuff is. I figure if I'm going to go and ask for people to critique my art to make it better, I may as well try make it not only helpful for me, but helpful for readers who might like an idea of what people want to see done.
Would you read on from my first page? In either form? What if it's the beginning of a later chapter, as my redux is threatening to imply?
And, finally–what is your opinion on narrators telling the story? My current script WIP is currently written from the perspective of a character who does not influence the story very strongly. A minor character, I guess. Do you like narrators? Do you hate them? What do you think about multiple narrators? Should narrative boxes only be character thoughts or is it acceptable to ‘tell’ a story in a story form, using the boxes to tell the story, with the panels to illustrate what's happening? That's what I'm currently aiming towards for a script, and I'd like to know what your thoughts on it are. Once I get a finalized script down for the prologue, I can start doing work in progress pencils, you see.
Thanks for reading this!
Metruis at 11:20PM, Dec. 3, 2008
I'm specifically aiming it at friends of mine rather than the entire DD community. It does have focus, see the first page. "I will be posting... WIPs." So yes, it's specific. It's not a tutorial. I am not reviewing other comics with this. I am reviewing my own, and bugging my readers to give imput, since, seriously. They LIKE doing that. Somehow I got more than two scoops of critics. I think I kind of explained the purpose of it pretty effectively on the first page... it's not a tutorial for everyone's common mistakes, it's the mistakes I made, compiled neatly so I don't have to link all my critics to everyone else's criticism and so everyone who wants to have a go at the WIPs (to be posted soon. >.>) won't have to go hunting across the internet to see what I'm looking for. See? If someone learns something in the process, great, but this isn't a tutorial made for that purpose. If I strictly wanted to teach, I wouldn't use my own story as a reference. It's just, as the name says "Between Places WIP". My comic's work in progress. I have people lined up who want to critique the WIPs and this is a convenient way to compile them. If someone learns something, great, but that's not my primary goal. Otherwise I would have named it "How not to do a fantasy webcomic" rather than "WIP". Maybe I'll do that once I know how to do it right. ;)
mishi_hime at 11:32AM, Dec. 2, 2008
if you want people to really take something from this... you should relate your mistakes to common ones everyone has and maybe add more notes on how to correct it and/or show comparing examples to corrected work you've done. Some of your comments seem off. I know Artists are too negative on themselves sometimes, but i dont think those thoughts are helping people here. Seems like you dont know whether this site should be about teaching for others or teaching for yourself. I think this project needs a little more focus. Right now this seems too specific. If it's only about your comic, it might be harder for others to apply to themselves.
Metruis at 7:05PM, Nov. 21, 2008
Yep. But I'd kind of like to make it possible for a reader to learn from my mistakes. The problem was not so much my beginning--but how I handled it. This is both a tutorial and a request for criticism. Learn from what I did wrong! At least, the intro is... I'm probably well aware of most of the larger flaws, due to very complete critics--seriously, here, did I get the constructive critic button?--and my own naturally critical nature, of course... When you stopped by, was my first page the redone one? The original first page kind of was worse. Snrk... somehow, some people still kept going. You know you have a critical error when most of the people who kept going stop at almost exactly the same spot.
BlkKnight at 11:45AM, Nov. 21, 2008
The first page was enough to get me reading. Some of the larger flaws I noticed were later on, but I'll wait until you discuss that before I say anything.